Thinking of Leaving

Consider taking the following items:

• Driver’s license, identification, purse

• Children’s birth certificates

• photos, special items, anything sentimental that you may want

• Money and clothes

• Bank books . . . all of them

• Checkbook and credit cards

• Insurance policies and cards

• Car registration

• Medical records and medical cards

• School records

• Social security card, work permits, green card, passport

• Medication and prescriptions

• Baby supplies, including diapers, formula, and any medications

• Divorce papers and other legal documents

• Welfare I.D. and food stamps

• Appointment/Address book (this way your partner cannot keep track of where you are or attempt to contact your friends to trace you)

• Personal hygiene items, such as:  toothbrush, toothpaste, comb/brush, razor

Things to ask yourself if you are unsure about leaving?

• What kind of control do you think you have over your partner’s behavior?  Has anything you’ve tried worked the way you wanted to?

• What is your worst fear if you leave this person you love?

• How do you want to be loved?  Is that how you are loved in this relationship?

• Do you feel that you are being controlled by your partner?  In what ways do you feel this control?

• Did you marry young?  Were you escaping from an abusive or unhappy situation?

• Was there drinking, drug use, violence, incest, or other problems in your family of origin?  How has that affected your marriage or current relationship?

• Do you believe that you can live without this person?  If you don’t think so, why not?

• How do you think you can change your partner?  Has it ever worked?

• What alternatives do you have?  Who else do you have in your life who can be a support person to you?  What about family and friends?

• When was the last time that you can remember feeling free to be yourself?  To do what you wanted to do?  When is that last time you laughed and had a good time?