Domestic Violence Quiz

Lethality and Danger Checklist

One of the things that happens to us when we are victims of domestic violence is that we tend to “minimize” or to deny the amount and the severity of the violence in our love relationship.  The denial helps to keep us in the relationship and helps us to believe that our problem is just a small one or that it will go away.  Our denial helps us to continue to believe that each time is the last one and that we can change our relationship by ourselves.

To get a better idea of how much danger you may be in, check all of the following that apply to you.

Does your partner . . . .

 _____Objectify you, call you names, including body parts or animal names?

 _____Blame you for what he thinks are injuries to himself, for his hurt feelings, problems or failures?

 _____Is your partner unwilling to let you go, to let you have a life of your own?

 _____Is your partner obsessed with you?  Does he have to know every detail of your life?

 _____Appear angry, hostile, distraught, uptight, anxious?

 _____Is your relationship extremely tense, volatile, explosive?

 _____Seem very jealous accusing you of having affairs, of looking at members of the opposite sex?

 _____ Been violent in the past?  What has your partner done when he has been violent?  Does he apologize afterward and promise that it will never happen again?

 _____Ever been cruel to pets or animals?  Ever killed a pet?

 _____Ever make threats to hurt you, the children or to “get back at other people who he feels have hurt him?

 _____Ever threaten to kill himself, especially if you say you are leaving?

 _____Ever tried to commit suicide?  Is he threatening to do so now?

 _____Have access to you?

 _____Have access to guns or other weapons?

 _____Drink?  For how long?  How often?  Is he an alcoholic?

 _____Take drugs?

 _____Think about hurting you?  Is he controlling you with violence?

 _____Deny that there is a problem?  Does he refuse to own his violence?  Does he refuse to stop hurting you or to get help?

The more statements that you checked, the more likely it is that you are in danger.  And remember, even if you didn’t check very many, that doesn’t mean that your partner is harmless.  Either way, you should be concerned about your safety and the safety of your children.